Peace Walker Tales
by Crash5020
Summary: Stories that take place after the fight with Peace Walker, but before Paz hijacks ZEKE.
1. Chico's Gift

Mother Base, The Base of Operations for Big Boss' Mercenary Group, Militaires Sans Frontières…

The sun rises as Chico and Amanda fish for their breakfast.

"Dammit! We've been here for an hour and we still haven't had a nibble," Amanda shouted, angered by the fact they haven't caught any fish.

Amanda noticed that Chico hasn't said anything in a while, which is a surprise to her as she knows that her little brother isn't quiet or patient.

"Wow, Chico, I'm surprised," said Amanda. "You're actually taking the no fish thing pretty well."

Chico's head suddenly began to bob back and forth and he started to snore.

"No wonder," Amanda chuckled.

Amanda then noticed Chico's fishing rod violently shake and Amanda tried shaking him awake. Chico woke up and asked, "Did we catch a fish yet?"

"No, but we can if you reel in the one attached to your line," said Amanda.

Chico noticed his rod shaking and tried to reel in his catch.

"Wow! This fish sure is putting up a tough fight!" said Chico. "It must be a big one!"

Chico reeled in his catch and was surprised to find out that the fish was only 5 inches long. Chico sighed as Nuke approached him and eyeing the fish he caught. Chico gave Nuke the fish and smiled as Nuke happily ate the fish. Chico went back to fishing until he heard someone from behind ask, "Hi, Chico, how's the fishing going?"

Chico turned around and was surprised to find Paz behind him. His cheeks turned red as he stared at her cute and innocent face, causing Paz to worry.

"Are you okay, Chico?" asked Paz.

Chico snapped back to reality and answerd with, "I-I'm fine and the fishing going great. I just caught a fish that was about as big as un oso gigante."

Paz giggled and asked, "So where is the oso gigante fish?"

"W-Well, after I reeled it in, we engaged in a fight of epic proportions," said Chico. "I was winning, but unfortunately it escaped at the last moment."

Paz continued to giggle, which confused Chico until he realized why she was laughing.

"You saw the fish I really caught didn't you?," asked Chico.

"Yep," said Paz.

"And you saw me struggle for it too, right?"

"Mm-hmm. Well, I'll just leave you two to your fishing. Bye Chico. Bye Amanda."

Paz walked away and Chico sighed again.

"Great, I finally get a chance to talk to her and I make up a silly story," said Chico.

"You are kind of good at that," Amanda chuckled.

"This isn't a joke, Amanda! For all I know, she thinks I'm just a little kid!"

"But you are a little kid."

"I got to find a way to impress her!"

"Wait, you were just talking about her seeing you as a little kid. How's impressing her going to change how she views you?"

"Forget about that. I gotta focus on impressing her."

"Well, if you want to impress her, you can give her a gift."

"A gift? That's a great idea! Thanks sis! You're the best!"

Chico ran off, leaving Amanda to wonder, "I wonder what he'll get the peace loving high schooler on a mercenary base in the middle of the Caribbean."

Amanda shrugged and thought, "I'm sure he'll figure something out."

20 minutes later at the mess hall…

"I can't figure out what to get Paz!" Chico shouted.

As Chico panicked over his situation, Cecile walked up him and asked what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just trying to find out what I could give Paz as a gift," said Chico.

"You know, Chico, a good way to win a women's heart is through her stomach," said Cecile.

"I thought that was the way to win a man's heart."

"I believe that it's possible for men to do it too."

"Well, I can't cook, so… do you have any other ideas?"

"You could always get something from the MSF gift shop."

"Cecile… MSF doesn't have a gift shop."

"Oh right… You know, now that I think about it, it wouldn't hurt for this place to have a gift shop."

"Cecile, I don't think a mercenary base needs a gift shop."

"Of course it needs a gift shop. Imagine it Chico, MSF themed products that can be sold for reasonable prices. Whenever we have visitors, they'll go to the gift shop and be surprised at all the wonderful things they could buy. And then one day we could start a chain of MSF stores around the world, which would turn MSF into one of the best known mercenary companies in the world."

"But MSF is the only mercenary company in the world. Although I would admit that a gift shop would help fund operations here."

"See? It is a splendid idea!. I think I'll tell Monsieur Miller about it right now."

Cecile ran out of the mess hall, leaving Chico to wonder if Miller would agree with her idea. A few minutes passed until Chico realized that Cecile didn't give him any ideas. Chico walked to Dr. Strangelove's lab and found her working on Metal Gear ZEKE's AI pod. Chico walked up to her and asked what she was doing. Strangelove turned around and was surprised to find Chico in her lab.

"Oh, it you, Chico," said Strangelove. "What do you need?"

"Strangelove, do you know what I can give a girl for a gift?," asked Chico.

"I should, considering I'm female. Just tell me who the girl is and I'll think of something."

"It's Paz."

Chico noticed Strangelove's expression change and she told him, "Sorry, I can't help you there."

"But…," Chico stammered.

"Chico, I'm very busy right now. I don't have time to be involved in your attempt to impress Paz. Now please leave."

A confused and slightly annoyed Chico left the lab and ran into Huey.

"Hey, Chico, what were you doing in Strangelove's lab?" asked Huey.

"I was asking her for help on something, but she said no," Chico explained. "Wait a minute… Hey Huey…"

Chico stopped himself from asking Huey for help as soon as he realized who he was talking to.

"What is it, Chico?" asked Huey.

"Nothing," said Chico. "I'll see you later."

Chico ran off, leaving Huey very confused.

"I don't think Huey can help me in this kind of situation," Chico thought to himself. "He has a hard time just looking at the girl he likes."

Suddenly, Chico ran into Kazuhira Miller and fell on to his back.

"Whoa! What's the rush, Chico?" asked Kaz.

Chico stood up and explained what he was trying to accomplish.

"A gift, huh? You know Cecile just told me that MSF should have a gift shop. Anyway if you really want to impress Paz, you should give her the gift of song," Kaz suggested.

"You want me to serenade her?" asked Chico.

"Sure. You can confess your love to her and impress her at the same time."

Chico wasn't so sure that was a good idea which meant that there was only one thing he could ask.

"Uh, Kaz…?," asked Chico.

"Yes?" said Kaz.

"Where's Snake?"

Moments later, Chico ran into the shooting range where he found Snake testing out a prototype Arms Material Gun.

"Wow! Snake, where did you get that gun from?!" asked an astonished Chico.

"It's a new gun the guys at the R&D team made," said Snake. "Anyway, what brings you down here Chico?"

"I need your help, Snake. I've been running around Mother Base asking people for gift ideas for Paz but no one's been able to help."

"No one?"

"Cecile tried to but she soon went off topic. I then went to Strangelove, but she's Strangelove."

"I understand that."

"I ran into Huey, but I didn't think he'd be much help. I also ran into Miller but his plan is guaranteed to get me laughed at."

"Did he tell you to serenade her?"

"Yep. Snake, you're the only one left who can help me."

"I'm not really the kind of person to come to when it comes to love."

"Please, Snake!"

"Well, uh, why don't you make her something?"

"Make her something? Like what?"

"Well, think about what Paz likes."

Chico took a moment to think about what Paz would like and got an idea.

"I got it!" said Chico. "Snake, can I go to the R&D department to make my gift?"

Snake grinned and said, "Sure."

The next day, Paz was petting Nuke on the main deck, until Chico drowsily approached her.

"Are you okay, Chico?" asked Paz. "You look like you didn't get any sleep last night."

"I didn't" said Chico. "Anyway, Paz, I know it's been hard for you lately, with the whole Peace Walker thing forcing you out of your school and forcing you to stay on a mercenary base, so I thought I make you something to cheer you up."

Chico pulled a locket out of his pocket and handed it to Paz.

"Oh, Chico, it's beautiful," said Paz.

"Open it up," said Chico.

Paz opened the locket and found a picture of the peace sign on one side and a picture of Snake, Kaz, Chico, Amanda, Cecile, Strangelove, Huey, and herself on the other side.

"Chico, I love it," said Paz.

"I'm glad," Chico said before yawning. "One sleepless night was worth it."

Paz walked to Chico and kissed him on the cheek, causing his face to turn bright red. Paz walked off and as soon as she was out of sight, Chico fainted. Amanda walked up to her unconscious brother and smiled.

"I guess she liked you're gift, huh, Chico?" said Amanda.

Amanda picked Chico up and decided to take him to his room for some much needed sleep.


	2. Gear Rex

"Snake!"

Snake turned around and noticed Kaz walking towards him.

"What is it, Kaz?" asked Snake.

"We have a problem," said Kaz. "We sent one our men to Costa Rica on a mission, but we lost contact with him 2 hours ago."

"Where was he before we lost contact?"

"Somewhere near the Crater Base."

"Alright, I'll go find him."

"You sure, Boss? We could always send someone else to find him."

"No, I'll go. I could use some alone time."

Snake boarded a chopper and rode it to Costa Rica. An hour later, Snake trudge through one of the Costa Rican rainforests and noticed the different kinds of birds singing.

"Maybe I should have brought Cecile with me," Snake thought to himself.

Suddenly, Snake heard a woman's scream from above and looked up. To his complete surprise, Cecile was falling towards him. Snake caught her and Cecile expressed her gratitude. Snake stood her up and asked what she was doing.

"Well, with all the excitement of the whole Peace Walker affair, I forgot that I came to Costa Rica to observe the Costa Rican birds," said Cecile.

"Kaz, let you come out here all by yourself" asked Snake.

"But I am not here by myself."

Snake then noticed rustling from the nearby bushes and aimed his M16A1 handgun at them. To his surprise, Paz, Amanda, and Chico wandered out of the bushes. Snake lowered his gun and Amanda asked, "What are you doing here, Snake?"

"I should ask you the same thing, Amanda," said Snake.

"Well, Paz and I promised Cecile that we'd go bird watching with her," Amanda explained. "Chico's here because… well I don't know."

"Why did you decide to join us, Chico?" asked Paz.

"I came because I heard that there were sightings of a UMA around here!" said an excited Chico.

"I thought it was because Paz was here," Amanda thought to herself.

"So, why are you here, Snake?" Cecile asked.

"We lost contact with one of our men near the Crater Base," Snake explained. "I'm on my way there now."

"Can we come too, Snake?" asked Paz.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," said Snake.

"Please, Snake," Paz pleaded. "It would be nice to explore the area now that the CIA is gone."

Snake still didn't think it was a good idea, but he then realized that if there the missing soldier was the result of any enemy forces, then it would be better if they were with him. Snake allowed them to come along and the group made their way to the Crater Base.

"Maybe there's a UMA at the Crater Base," said Chico.

"Chico, there's no such thing as UMAs," said Amanda.

Of course there is!" said Chico. "Snake, isn't there such a thing as UMAs?"

"Well, I never seen one before, but I've seen some weird things before, so it's possible," said Snake.

"See, Amanda," said Chico.

"What kind of weird things have you seen, Snake?," asked Amanda.

"I've seen a man shoot bees out of his mouth, a man who was like a human spider, a sniper who was like a plant and a man who turned into a giant flaming skull when he died," said Snake.

Paz's, Cecile's and Amanda's mouths drop as Chico's eyes widen in astonishment.

"Is that true, Snake?" asked Chico.

"I also fought a man who could shoot lightning out of his hand and a ghost," said Snake.

The group arrived at the Crater Base's garage and looked for the missing staff member.

"I guess the CIA's really gone. All the trucks are gone," Amanda pointed out.

"You know, I met one of the MSF staff here," said Snake.

"Which one?" asked Cecile.

"You know, he's the one everyone likes a lot," said Snake.

"Are you talking about yourself?" asked Amanda.

"No, I mean this guy has really cool glasses and likes movies," said Snake.

"Oh, him," said Paz. "You're right, everyone does like him."

The group walked into the area where Snake fought the Pupa AI Weapon and found the missing MSF member, Mosquito, running towards them.

"Hey, it's Mosquito," said Snake.

"You know, Snake, I really wonder how you know who's who at you're base," said Amanda. "I'm still confusing them."

Mosquito stopped in front of the group and, as he tried to catch his breath, said, "Boss! We have to get out here! It's coming!"

"Calm down," said Snake. "What's coming?"

Suddenly, a giant reptilian creature landed in front of the group and roared.

"What the hell is that?!" asked Snake.

"It's a UMA!" Chico shouted.

Chico pulled out his monster hunter guide and quickly flipped through it until he found the entry he was looking for.

"It's called Gear Rex," said Chico.

Gear Rex charged at them, but was stopped by a well place missile from Snake, stunning it.

"Everyone, get out of here! Move!" Snake ordered.

Everyone, but Snake, ran out of the base as Gear Rex recovered from its daze. Snake shot a few 2 missiles at the ceiling, causing giant rubble to fall down and bury Gear Rex. Snake then planted two C4 charges at the entrance, ran through it and set them off to make sure he can't be followed. Snake rans out of the Crater Base and was reunited with the others.

"Snake, you're ok," said a relieved Paz.

"Yeah," said Snake. "I guess it wasn't as tough as it looked."

Suddenly, a red laser beam shot out from the Crater Base and Gear Rex jumped out through the hole it made. The UMA screams causing Snake to shout, "Move! Move!"

The group away from Gear Rex as it chased them through the nearby forest. They make it out of the forest and ran across a metal bridge suspended over a large valley. Gear Rex approached the bridge and a soon as it stepped on it, Snake fired several missiles at the bridge until it collapsed. Gear Rex fell into the valley and disappeared from his sight. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and Chico smugly said, "I told you UMAs are real."


	3. Lunch Break

Mother Base, 12:34

Snake, Kaz, Paz, Amanda, Chico, Huey, Cecile, and Strangelove were enjoying their lunch at the Mess Hall. After eating in silence for a couple of minutes, Paz asked, "Shouldn't we talk to each other?"

"In the battlefield, soldiers eat in silence so they are able to hear what's going on," said Snake. "It's the best way to make sure the enemy doesn't sneak up on you."

"But this isn't a battlefield," said Paz.

"What's your point?" asked Snake.

"I think she just wants us to talk at the lunch table like normal people do," said Huey.

"I'm pretty sure we talked before," said Snake.

"I've kept a record of the things we said at this table," said Strangelove. "And all I have is you burping and saying excuse me."

Everyone at the table shot a disturbed look at Strangelove and Snake asked, "You keep a record of our lunch conversations?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Snake," said Strangelove. "I keep a record of all of our conversations."

"…I'm going to pretend I didn't just hear that," said Amanda.

"Anyway, if you guys want a lunch conversation, then we can have one," said Snake. "What should we talk about?"

"Let's talk about our childhood," said Paz. "Lighthearted stories from our younger days."

"That's a great idea, Paz," said Kaz. "Alright, Snake, since you're the boss, it's only natural that you go first."

"Fine," said Snake. "When I was a kid, I used to own a bird as a pet."

"What kind of bird?" asked Cecile.

"I don't remember," said Snake. "Anyway, I loved that bird like it was part of the family. We used to go everywhere together until it died one day."

"What happened?" asked Chico.

"A crocodile ate it," said Snake.

The entire table expressed their surprise and Paz asked, "How did you react to your bird's death?"

"I grabbed my father's shotgun and shot the croc in the face," said Snake.

The entire table stared at Snake, shocked by his response.

"That's a bit extreme don't you think?" asked Amanda.

"I'm not done yet," said Snake. "I then yanked out one of its remaining teeth and cut its stomach open."

"Why?" asked Amanda.

"I was hoping I would get my bird back," said Snake.

"Did you?" asked Amanda.

"Yeah," said Snake. "Just not alive."

"Oh…" the entire table somberly muttered.

"Or recognizable," said Snake.

"Uh…" the entire table said with a little disgust.

"Or in one piece," said Snake.

"Snake, you were supposed to tell a lighthearted tale," said Paz.

"That was lighthearted," said Snake.

"Ok, my turn," said Kaz. "Now this tale takes place back when I was a teenager. It's about my first date. Now I know it's hard to believe, but I wasn't the ladies' man I am today I was back then."

"You're a ladies man?" Amanda sarcastically asked.

"But then one day the most popular girl at school asked me out on a date," said Kaz. "I couldn't believe it."

"Neither can I," said Amanda.

"So we had a lovely evening and she wanted me to take her home with me," said Kaz. "We all know that means one thing, so even though I was a little nervous, I brought her to my dad's mansion. We went to my room and the next thing I knew I was knocked out."

"You mean she-?"

"No," Kaz said, interrupting Chico. "I thought that was the case when I woke up, but I was on the floor, my clothes were still on, I wasn't handcuffed to my bed and nothing was wet. I went downstairs and found her trying to sneak out with my family's diamonds."

"So what did you do?," asked Chico.

"I engaged her in combat," said Kaz.

"And you won, right?" asked Chico.

"Actually she kicked my butt and got away," said Kaz. "But I'll get even with her."

"How?" asked Cecile.

"Because… She's right there!," Miller shouted as he points to a female MSF staff member.

The woman jumped up and ran towards the Mess Hall entrance.

"Restrain her!" Kaz shouted.

Two MSF soldiers got up, grabbed her and brung her back to Kaz.

"What should we do with her?" one of the soldiers asked.

"Take her to the brig," said Kaz. "I'll deal with her later."

Kaz turned back to the others and said, "Well, my story just got a nice conclusion. Who's next?"

"I'll go," said Chico. "Now when I was younger, I liked to hunt. I didn't hunt big animals, just small creatures like frogs or birds."

"You hunted birds?" Cecile asked, shocked at what she just heard.

"They were unharmed and I let them go," said Chico. "Anyway, one day, I decided to hunt a bear. I tracked one down and set a net trap for it. It eventually walked on to the net and was soon strung up, struggling for freedom. I was praised for the capture."

"No… that's not what happened," said Amanda. "I was there on that day and I'll tell you what really happened. You see, I was worried about you hunting a bear, so I secretly followed you. You set your trap but the bear wouldn't come to it. You ran out of patience and tried to get the bears attention, but you got caught up in your own trap. The bear noticed you and was about to attack you, so I had to put it down."

"Did you really have to call me out in front of Paz?" Chico whispered.

"I have a story to tell," said Huey. "When I was a kid, I always wanted to build a space craft. So, I made a blueprint and started building away. But unfortunately I lacked the engine for such travels, so I gave up."

Everyone at the table stared at Huey and Snake asked, "That's it?"

"Yep," said Huey. "Pretty good story, right?"

"Huey, that story is as bad as your tendency to be a drone," said Strangelove. "Anyway, I'll take the stand now. When I was a young child I always had an interest in scientific challenges…"

10 minutes later…

"And that's how the monkeys learned to speak English," said Strangelove.

"Cecile, why don't you go next?," Snake suggested, desperate to change the topic.

"Well, when I was a child I was interested in ballet," said Cecile. "But I was never good at it. I lacked the rhythm and grace that a ballerina needed. So I quit."

"Really?" asked Paz.

"Well, actually, I was laughed out ballet," said Cecile.

"People laughed at you?" asked Amanda.

"Everyone," Cecile said with dread. "Even my parents."

Cecile started to remember her ballerina past, causing her to shout, "I'm not bad. I'm good. I'm good!"

"Ok… while Cecile deals with personal demons, why don't you go Paz?" Amanda suggested.

"Ok," said Paz. "When I was young I used to be the Peace Manager of my classroom. When there was ever a dispute, it was my job to settle the matter. But one day there was one dispute I had troubled dealing with."

"What's that?" asked Snake.

"There were two boys who were arguing about who I would go out with," said Paz. "So for the whole week they've been trying to get the answer out of them until one day I told them I wouldn't go out with neither of them."

"How'd they take it?," asked Kaz.

"They started crying," said Paz. "They did stop when I told them that it wasn't them, it was just that I was too young for love."

"What about now?" asked Chico.

"What do you mean?" asked Paz.

"Are you still too young for love?" asked Chico.

"Oh boy," Amanda muttered.

Snake looked at the clock and said, "It's times for target practice. Let's go, Kaz."

"Alright, boss," said Kaz.

Snake and Kaz stood up and walked out of the mess hall.

"I got to go referee a soccer game," said Huey. "Let's go, Chico."

"Ok," said Chico. "Do you want to come with us, Paz?"

"Sure," said Paz.

Huey, Chico and Paz walked out of the mess hall and Strangelove soon followed.

"I guess I'll just stay here until Cecile comes back to reality," Amanda thought to herself.

"I'm good, I tell you. Good!" Cecile shouted.


	4. Paz's Diary Lost Entry: Chico's Gift

I watched the sun rise yesterday morning. During my training, I would always watch the sun rise and set. It always had a calming effect and I couldn't deny that it was beautiful. I then wandered around Mother Base watching the staff practice their CQC and engage themselves in the shooting range. As I made my rounds, I noticed Chico and Amanda fishing. Amanda seemed to be irritated, perhaps it was due to not catching any fish. But at least she was paying attention, Chico on the other hand was asleep.

Chico's fishing rod began to shake and Amanda had to wake him up so he could catch his prize. Chico struggled to reel the fish in, but after much effort he succeeded in reeling in a very tiny one. Chico was disappointed and he should be. How could he have survived this long if he can barely win a fight with a fish that tiny. Nuke then appeared out of nowhere and began eyeing the fish Chico caught. He gave the fish to Nuke and went back to fishing.

Normally, I wouldn't I wouldn't engage in any conversation unless someone else started one, but to keep up my role as their friend, I had to talk to them first sometimes. I walked up to them and asked them how their fishing was going. Chico's red immediately went red and he started staring at me. Desperate to get him to stop, I asked him if he was okay. He stopped staring and tried to act like he just caught a fish the size of the bear. I started to giggle, not because that's how "Paz" would respond, but because I actually found it hilarious to imagine Chico achieving such a feat, even if I didn't just witnessed his fishing skills earlier. He continued the lie until he realized I wasn't falling for it. He seemed embarrassed and probably wanted to make up an excuse for his struggles, but I ended the conversation and walked away because I didn't want to hear any.

This morning, I sat on the main deck to watch the sun rise once again. As I watched the beautiful event, Nuke came up to me and laid on my lap. I don't know what made it think it could do that, but for some reason, I didn't mind too much. I stroked his back until Chico approached me. He looked as though he didn't sleep at all tonight which he soon confirmed. He started talking about how much I've been throughout the whole Peace Walker incident and then pulled a locket out of his pocket. He told me to open it and when I did I found a picture of the peace sign on one side and a picture with me, himself, Snake, Miller, Amanda, Cecile, Strangelove and Huey on the other.

I was… honestly touched by the gesture. Don't get me wrong, I was not falling for this kid and I'm certainly not going to let this affect my mission performance, but… it was nice to receive a gift from someone else. I kissed Chico on the cheek as a thank you and also to do something nice for him. After that I continued my rounds.


	5. Paz's Diary Lost Entry: Snakilla

It was a bright and sunny day. Cecile invited me to go bird watching with her saying, "You should see all the wonderful species of birds that come here."

I had no interest in bird watching but I had to keep up the act of liking this woman. I accepted her invitation and we she handed me a pair of binoculars. I had to admit, there was an amazing amount of birds that fly by. Suddenly, a lime green bird landed on my head and to be honest, I was mildly disturbed. Cecile however was excited and told me, "Paz, that's a Snakilla."

"A what?," I asked.

"A Snakilla,"Cecile said. "It's an extremely rare bird. There's only one of its kind left and its standing on top of you."

The Snakilla grabbed the locket Chico made me, yanked it off my neck and flies off. I honestly didn't care for the locket, but I had to keep up the act and pretend to be sad. Cecile and I chased the bird around Mother Base, but it always flew away when we got close. A few of the staff offered to shoot the bird down for us, but that just caused Cecile to lecture them about the cruelty to birds and all that crap.

Suddenly, we heard a shot fired and the Snakilla fell to the ground. We turned around and found Snake standing behind us. Snake grabbed the locket as Cecile started whining about birds. Snake calmed her down by telling her that he didn't use a lethal round and he handed me my locket. I was kind of amazed. Snake was able to shoot a bird, flying in an erratic pattern, down with a single shot. Imagine how much more powerful Cipher would be if he returned.


	6. Paz's Diary Lost Entry: Beauty Pageant

Something I always loathed about women is their obsession with their appearance. I mean I, like many others, like to take care of my appearance, but some women, they make it they're whole life. So, when Miller announced a beauty contest to me, Amanda, Chico, Huey and Strangelove, I was slightly annoyed. Beauty pageants are for weak women who needs the world's approval to accept their looks. What a stupid idea! What kind of mercenary base would hold a beauty pageant? Amanda seemed to share my view and asked, "What self-respecting woman would enter a beauty pageant?"

Suddenly, Cecile ran up to us, informing us that she signed up for it. I wasn't surprised that she entered, she does seem like the type who would. It was then when Snake arrived and started chewing Miller out for authorizing the beauty pageant without running it through him. Miller plead his case and was helped by Cecile saying that she always wanted to be a beauty queen. Snake eventually gave in and it was then were he decided to make me the host. I tried to act all shy and embarrassed because I didn't want to do it, but everyone supported the decision, so I was stuck with the job. Ugh, I can't believe Miller, he can so unfair at times. Well, at least I'm not in the contest.

The next morning, a chopper was provided for all the participants to go to Costa Rica to shop for new clothes on MSF's dime. I have to wonder how dumb Miller is. Does he not know how women can get while shopping? Cecile invited Amanda and I to join her on her shopping spree, much to my irritation. I didn't want to stand around, probably lying about how she looks in new dresses. But I had to keep up my cover and I accepted.

After a tedious morning of shopping, Cecile went on about how she's going to win until she was confronted by the same woman who robbed Miller when he was younger, Swan. She joined MSF with the best intention to rob him again, but Miller's was already on to her scheme and let her think she was being sneaky until he ordered her to be thrown into the brig. He eventually let her out and she's been a true staff member ever since. She then went on about how she would be the winner of the pageant and started insulting Cecile. This is why it's a stupid idea to have a beauty contest on a mercenary base, it causes the staff to fight, affecting overall performance. Cecile then started to list reason why Swan wouldn't win and Swan stormed off.

Later that night, the beauty pageant started. Miller appointed Snake and himself to be the judges of the event and handed me my cue cards. I stepped on to the stage and announced the contestants. One by one they walked from behind the curtain and showed off their new dresses. The men cheered at the site which reminded me that for all their combat experience, they were still men.

The next event was the swimsuit competition and everyone's jaw dropped when Cecile walked on to stage. It was like the audience was spellbound. The next contestant came out and suddenly her top fell off. She grabbed it and immediately ran off the stage in shame and as the pageant went on, strange things started to happen to the contestants. One contestant was attacked by birds while another fell through the stage. While it seemed like mere coincidences to everyone else, to me it was obvious that someone was cheating. Seeing how the only contestants that weren't affected was Cecile and Swan, it was obvious who was cheating.

Before the final event, the talent show, Miller decided to hold a hour long intermission. I was relieved, standing around announcing things was a complete waste of my time. But then Cecile approached me and Amanda and invited us to her room, saying she wanted to show us what she was going to do in the talent show. We walked to her room and once we arrived, we found a tattered ballet outfit. It seems Swan has struck again. Cecile was devastated but Amanda told her, "You're not going to let this little setback stop you from winning, are you?"

I don't why she would say that. It was obvious that there was no way she could find another act in time for the talent show, but Cecile had a smile on her face and told us she had an idea. An hour later, the talent show began. Swan did a standard magician act, pulling a rabbit out of a hat and sawing someone in half, the basic stuff. She got a respectful 8 and 7 from Miller and Snake respectively and walked off the stage.

Then it was Cecile's turn. She confidently walked on stage with a bird perched on her arm and it started to sing a song that sounds like it was inspired from 60s James Bond films. Soon more birds flew up on stage and joined in on the song. The crowd went wild and I could see that the song resonated with Snake. Snake and Miller gave her a perfect 10 and declared her the winner of the beauty pageant.

Unsurprisingly, Swan didn't take this well and accidentally admitted to her crimes. As a result she was fired from the staff and was escorted to her room to pack her things. What a dumb woman. Why would she admit to her crimes? She could never be a secret agent.

Cecile was handed a sash, a trophy and a crown and everyone clapped for her, including me. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't into it, but gathering that many birds and teaching them a complex song like that in under an hour was impressive. Perhaps she deserves more credit then I give her.


End file.
